Welcome, foolish mortals, to Brent’s Crossroads! I have visited Disneyland, Disney World, Disneyland Paris, and Tokyo Disneyland. One thing about me is that I love the Haunted Mansion. In all of Disney, it is my favorite attraction in every park. Now that I have experienced all four versions of the Haunted Mansion, I sat back and thought about how to rank them. I’m not counting Mystic Manor because it is an entirely different ride compared to the classic Haunted Mansions.

So, let’s look alive, and don’t forget to bring your death certificates. I will start at the bottom and count up to the number one Haunted Mansion version in the Disney parks.

4. Tokyo Disneyland—It pains me to put it on the bottom, but sacrifices must be made. Riding the Tokyo version was like stepping back in time. This attraction doesn’t have the staircase room but still rocks the spiders and webs. The room is dark, and you can barely see the spiders, but it was a blast from the past. The spiders were still in Disney World when I rode it for the first time as a kid. The other big difference is the Beating Heart Bride. It did my heart good to see her in the attic and hear her heart beating. However, this is not enough to overtake the other Mansions. The outside queue is different with a ruined mausoleum, but the sightlines aren’t as good either. The Mansion here is beyond Splash Mountain and lacks the same uneasy feeling as Orlando (which it mirrors).

3. Disneyland—Putting the OG Haunted Mansion at number three is painful, too. It has been a few years since I’ve been to Anaheim, but things have changed a ton since my last ride on the Mansion. The new queue area looks fantastic, and I should be walking it this year. The other significant change is from an axe-wielding Constance Hatchaway to an updated version of the Beating Heart Bride. The updated spirit looks better, but I need to see it in person before passing final judgement. I need to move on before I rethink my ranking of the Disneyland ride.

2. Disneyland Paris– I struggled with putting Phantom Manor at number two instead of number one. It was almost a coin flip. Phantom Manor is what a haunted house should look like. Walt Disney said the mansion should look nice on the outside, and the ghosts keep the inside how they like it, but the Manor is all creepy from the gates to the doors. The storyline for Paris is also better than the other versions. In the first room, the narration is by Vincent Price, which is perfect for the feel of this ride. I love Vincent as well, so I may be a little biased. Overall, the attraction is similar to the other mansions, but it has different effects and scenes to better incorporate the storyline and the Phantom. The graveyard and broken open coffins in the transition area between the Manor and the Old West town are the scariest and most visceral. The skeletons are real-looking, and there isn’t the usual Disney-style camp in the scenes. The last portion of the ride is why I ended up not ranking it at number one. The Old West town is goofy. This is where we get a solid dose of Disney camp, and it detracts from everything else in the ride. It is so close to being perfect…

1. Disney World—You never forget your first, right? It has the same DNA as the original, and Tokyo is a mirror image of this majestic ride. On the first trip to Disney World as a kid, I rode the Mansion multiple times. During the Electric Light Parade, we were allowed to stay on the ride and keep riding because nobody was in line to ride. It pays to skip the parades and shows sometimes. The Haunted Mansion left an impression on me that continues to this day. It spoke to the way I felt and viewed the world. I like my world on the darker side, and this ride gave that darkness to me. Yes, it’s been updated. I hope they take Constance out of the attic, because the effect hasn’t aged well, and it’s time for her to go. The Hat Box Ghost in the hallway scene makes absolutely no sense. He shouldn’t be before Madame Leota’s seance. The spirits manifest after the seance; unless there is more to his story than we know, he should be in the attic. Okay, now I’m splitting hairs.

There it is, my Haunted Mansion rankings. How do you rank them? Do you think I’m insane, or do you agree with where the rides fell on the list? I plan on doing more of these to compare Pirates of the Caribbean, It’s A Small World, Peter Pan’s Flight, and others. Be sure to sound off in the comments below.

Well, I must get back to work on the next video for the YouTube channel (go here to subscribe for even more Disney, cruise, and travel content). Thanks for stopping in to chat, and I hope to see you at the Crossroads!

Brent